Friend-zone  

Yesterday I read this post called friendzone from @Shailendree’s blog ‘Cause Pigs Can Fly’ so I decided to add my own ideas to the post.

I’m one of those people who rarely make friends, although I appear more outgoing and friendly online, in real life I’ve very few friends which most of them are from my school.

I think it’s nothing wrong for a boy to be friends with a girl, and a girl to be friends with a guy. Although the older generation still think it’s wrong, times have changed and they too should accept that and move on.

Last week we had this small discussion at a study session where most of the girls said they’d rather prefer a female doctor and most of the boys said they’d like to get examined by a male doctor, but some guys said they don’t mind whether the doctor is male or female.

One of the guys who is a friend of mine picked a male doctor as his preference and when asked why he said, ‘he can be more open about his problems with a male doctor rather than a female doctor’.

I was kinda surprised by it and according to him it was because he went to a boys school as a child. Although I went to a boys school too I never had a feeling like that. I believe that for a guy it’s more easier to be good friends with a girl, and for a girl it’s more easier to be friends with a guy than with another girl.

If you go to a boys school it takes some getting used to when dealing with girls but when you get used to it, the friendship can be very smooth one, the explanation is a very simple one.

When a guy tries to be friend with another set of guys the set of guys expect some certain qualities from the individual, no matter how much your ideas mach. Like to drink alcohol like the rest of the guys, go out every weekend, make fun of other girls. And it’s harder to fit into all these expectations and you will fall short of being good friends unless you’re totally like them.

This is what happens to me most of the time, and the reason why I don’t have any friends from the university because it’s hard to find people without expecting anything in return of the friendship. I think same can be true for girls, girls will expect the others to like fashion and all the girly stuff they like to be friends with.

But for a girl and a boy can be friends without expecting anything from eachother if their ideas are parallel, because they have nothing in common other than their qualities and ideas. The only thing is to break the barrier that our schooling system has made us to have fear in approaching opposite sex.

Personally for me most of my best friends are girls that are same age as mine, I can be totally open with them and share stuff that I won’t share with guys. They have their own boyfriends and still we’re good friends just like the old days.

And unlike Shailendree’s post no matter how close we’ve never thought of crossing the line of friendship. Never had and idea that we’ve being used. Yes we fight sometimes, we stop talking for months but finally we get together and and get things settled like what it used to be.

I think all these feelings of being used, and liking only as friends and not anything more is mostly because they have motives or expectations to be more than friends when starting a friendship. If you friendzone without any expectation of other than being friends, you can friendzone forever.